Great Value Fettuccine, 16 oz

I have been to Italy. I have stood in the shadow of the Colosseum, felt the cobblestones beneath my feet, and eaten pasta made by a grandmother who has been making pasta since before my country existed. And I want to be very clear: this is not that. This is Great Value Fettuccine, 16 oz, from Walmart. It costs about a dollar. It is filling. I ate it and then I was no longer hungry. That is the entire contract and it was honored completely. It is yummy. I know "yummy" is a strong word. I am prepared to defend it. I put a jar of sauce on it and I ate it at my kitchen table at 7pm on a Wednesday and I thought, with genuine feeling: this is yummy. Not transcendent. Not life-altering. Yummy. The specific yumminess of a thing that is exactly what it says it is. It is convenient. The ingredients are semolina and niacin and a few other things that keep the noodle from falling apart. There is no ingredient on this list that surprised or alarmed me. I did not need to google anything. I boiled water, I waited, I ate. The whole process took less time than it took me to find something to watch while I ate it. Five stars. The bar was the ground and it walked right over it.

I use this for fettuccine Alfredo along with either homemade or store bought sauce. Frequently, I will add shrimp or crab to make the meal a little more delightful. Boil the noodles and add the sauce, this makes for a quick dinner anytime. Adding the seafood doesn't take much longer at all. Add some steamed veggies and you have a complete meal.