Red Bull Energy Drink, 8.4 fl. oz., 6 Packs of 4 Cans

I drank one Red Bull and did not physically grow wings, which honestly feels like false advertising, but metaphorically I absolutely took flight. My body stayed on the couch while my spirit attempted to clear airport security without a boarding pass. I cannot fly, but my anxiety now has altitude. This drink does not give you wings, it gives your thoughts roller skates and pushes them down a hill. I took a sip and my internal monologue started flapping aggressively. If confidence had feathers, they would be molting everywhere. I am not airborne, but I am spiritually hovering three feet above my responsibilities. Five stars. Red Bull gave me wings in the same way duct tape gives you hope. I would drink it again if I need to ascend beyond sleep, reason, and basic human limits.