Staying Power : On Queerness, Inheritances, and the Families We Choose (Paperback)

A remarkably frank memoir about interdependence, grieving, and parenting as a queer femme that doesn't leave out the messy or the erotic

Staying Power, Zena Sharman's memoir in essays, is a beautiful and honest journey of care work, grief, parenting, and chosen family in the wake of intergenerational trauma. Exploring the lessons and inheritances of being raised by survivors of complex traumas, the book challenges the notion that one must be healed in order to parent well and celebrates the transformative power of queer family-making beyond gay marriage and assimilation into the nuclear family.

The book, which recounts the author's experiences of raising three children in a four-parent queer family, asks, "If leaving has helped you survive, how do you learn to stay?" Sharman finds answers in queer kinship, femme erotics, Leatherdyke lineages, and the radical possibilities inherent in doing motherwork outside of motherhood, recognizing that sometimes you fight the thing you want most.

Staying Poweris a moving, deeply personal account of one person's journey of unlearning independence through an experiment in queer collective care.

Zena Sharman(she/her) is an essayist and non-fiction writer whose work explores themes of community, identity, and care. She is the editor of several anthologies, includingThe Care We Dream Ofand the Lambda Literary award–winningThe Remedy(both Arsenal Pulp Press).Staying Poweris her debut memoir. She lives in Duncan, BC.

"I've been waiting for this memoir for so many years. Sharman blows it out of the water with her honesty about being a grown-up femme daughter of a brilliant survivor artist mother; motherloss grief without the Hallmark cards; wrestling with ideas of home, partnership, kink, freedom, and family; and finally making a big queer love and family that defies easy platitudes in favour of something much more real. If you've ever been born to run but are trying to figure out how to grieve, love, and stay, this book is for you."
—Leah Lakshmi Piepzna-Samarasinha, author ofThe Future Is DisabledandCare Work

"As innovative in form as it is in content,Staying Poweris an intricately constructed memoir in essays that pushes against the familiar contours of life-writing, just as the queer communities at its heart push against the familiar contours of family-making. Sharman's writing is tender, filthy, and brilliant, never shying away from the hard truths of grief and trauma while always orienting us back to the world-making possibilities of queer love. This book is a portal; prepare to be transformed."
—Hannah McGregor, author ofClever Girl: Jurassic ParkandA Sentimental Education

"Staying Powerstands as both testament to queer resilience and celebration of the families we choose. With femme brilliance and emotional intelligence, Sharman offers a guide to building a life centered on care and community. This book is for anyone who has ever been part of a family—or just wished their mother was more like Dolly Parton."
—Ariel Gore, author ofRehearsals for DyingandThe End of Eve