Blue Buffalo Wilderness Dry Cat Food, High-Protein & Grain-Free, Duck, 11-lb. Bag

I recently purchased a bag of Blue Buffalo Duck Recipe for over $50 because my wife insisted our Russian Blue cat, Endora, needed "quality nutrition." This is the same cat that once tried to eat a moth off my Window screen. For fifty dollars, I expected the bag to contain an entire duck, a handwritten thank-you note from the farmer, and perhaps partial ownership of the company. Instead, I got cat food. The moment I brought it home, Endora somehow knew it was expensive. I don't know how. Cats possess a supernatural ability to detect when you've made a stupid financial decision. I poured a bowl. She sniffed it. She stared directly into my soul. Then she walked away. Not because she didn't like it. Because she needed me to understand that despite spending fifty dollars, she was still the one in charge. She returned later and ate it while glaring at me the entire time like a mob boss accepting tribute. The food itself seems excellent. Her coat is shiny. Her health is great. Her energy levels are impressive. She's never looked better. Unfortunately, she now carries herself like a divorced Russian oligarch living on a yacht. Yesterday she sat next to a bag of regular cat food and looked at it the way a wine expert looks at gasoline. I accidentally dropped a piece of chicken on the floor and she ignored it. Ignored. Chicken. Apparently she's too sophisticated for peasant poultry now. She only consumes duck. Next week she'll probably demand caviar and a private security detail. The most offensive part is that I discovered the cost per pound is approaching the price of food intended for actual taxpayers. I ate a frozen burrito for dinner while Endora enjoyed gourmet duck cuisine and stared at me with visible disappointment. Blue Buffalo has created an outstanding product. It has also created a monster. If your goal is to turn your cat into an entitled furry aristocrat who views you as a poorly managed servant, this food is absolutely worth every penny. Endora gives it five stars. My bank account has retained legal counsel.