General Mills, Breakfast Cereal, Count Chocula, Halloween, Chocolatey, with Marshmalllows, Family Size, 19.5oz

Ummm, it's Count friggin' Chocula, the best cereal ever invented in our hallowed halls of food science. The boys down at the Food Technology Institute probably didn't even realize the magnitude of what was about to happen when one of their junior chemists innocently said "Hey, what about chocolate cereal WITH chocolate flavored marshmallows?" They all looked at each other with amazement at their shared mental image of what was to come. I think it was probably a lot like when that Raytheon scientist was messing around with unprotected magnetrons and the chocolate bar that he'd cheekily sneaked into the lab in his coat pocket started to melt! I think it's no coincidence that happy accident involved chocolate, and so does this one! Anyway, a few weeks later, the magical combination of corn and several products derived from corn, sugar, cocoa, multiple hues of food coloring (to make chocolate color?), and just a touch of trisodium phosphate to give it that "je ne sais quoi" all came together in industrial-sized vats to make vast quantities of the chocolate cereal we all love sooooo much! It's a cruel joke of the universe that they only bring this stuff out at Halloween. I understand that The Count is probably busy the rest of the year counting things, and that depriving us of his chocolatey goodness only makes us want it that much more when the pagan holiday finally comes around again. But ugh! It's sooo good! Really, it's great. And, as an adult you can "buy it for the kids", but we all know it's really for you. Enjoy it at the breakfast table in your bathrobe and for a little while you can pretend 2020 never happened.