No More Settling: Finding Wholeness in Relationships, (Paperback)

No More Settling Latoya Kight

My life has been FULL of ups and downs. This thing called life will throw a curveball at you, and my life has been FULL of curveballs: curveballs I couldn't have anticipated or have been prepared for. If you think you're prepared, then you've got another thing coming.

When you are born you can't imagine all the problems you will face. You definitely don't ask for it. Who wants turmoil? Not me. There's no way I wanted to be born to a teenage mom. I couldn't have possibly asked to be raised without my real dad. I definitely didn't desire to grow up in a home full of people and still feel lonely. I didn't want to become pregnant at the age of 16. I surely didn't want to become pregnant again at 17. I never asked to be in a tumultuous marriage. My dream didn't include a divorce. On top of it all, I suffered from mental and emotional abuse, heartache, pain, rejection, low self-esteem, and stress. This was not what I wanted for my life or what I prayed for. However, continued prayer and reflection made me realize that the key to my happiness was making sure all of my relationships were healthy, and that journey would have to start with being healthy myself. After this realization, my life completely turned around.

There's no need to live life lonely, angry, and damaged; you were not created to suffer. Our Creator built us to be happy and healthy. Granted, obtaining healthy relationships takes a lot of work and keeping them requires even more energy and perseverance. So, you have to be willing to change, give up unhealthy tendencies, and compromise. If you are willing to brave these challenges and look inside yourself, you will find all the nasty mess that you've buried as excuses and self-bashing that you need to remove. These are your hidden wounds, hurts that never healed, and issues you never confronted that you'll have to confront and resolve before you can have the healthy relationships that help make you whole. Friends and family are some of the greatest gifts God has given us. Don't miss out on the beauty of it all due to your own selfish motives.

My happiness and wellbeing largely depended on learning how to achieve and maintain strong and healthy relationships: as a daughter, sister, mother, wife, friend, niece, granddaughter, and cousin. I wanted to be able to have relationships with my family and friends that not only brought out the best in myself but in them as well. This meant establishing a meaningful connection beyond mere titles. Whether we succeeded or failed at our attempt, I wanted to enjoy growing together knowing that we at least tried.

Not all of my relationships have been perfect, but I tapped into something years ago that helped me view and treat my relationships differently. When I realized the people around me were my allies, not my enemies, I changed how I treated them. I knew I needed these relationships to survive so I began to show my appreciation for the people in my life more. If I wanted to be respected, I needed to be respectful in turn. I craved connections that were valuable to everyone involved. I wanted to be spoken well of and vice versa. I desired to give and not just receive. I wanted to make a positive impact on everyone around me.

I wrote this book to highlight some of the lessons I have learned on my journey, which have allowed me to grow tremendously. I'm finally experiencing a more fulfilling and healthy life because my relationships are stronger; they are connections I and loved ones can turn to for inspiration and guidance.