Welch's 100% Grape Juice, Concord Grape, 96 fl oz Bottle

I appreciate the makers of Welch's Grape Juice, for NOT reducing quality. I am soooo glad it is still 100% grape juice truly. Authentic. I want nothing but the grape juice. Thank you so very much. I will gladly pay more for quality, natural, clean, and pure juice. Thank you for not bowing and lowering your high standards for a quality product.

I cracked open this bottle expecting regular grape juice. What I got was a religious experience in liquid form. One sip and I was levitating three inches off my kitchen floor, speaking in tongues that sounded suspiciously like “mmMMMmm YES.” My kids walked in, saw the purple ring around my mouth, and immediately dropped to their knees chanting “He has tasted the sacred nectar.” I didn't correct them. I just handed them tiny cups like it was communion. We now hold family prayer around the fridge every morning. Side effects may include: - Sudden urge to wear a toga - Calling your mom just to say “remember when you used to give me this as a kid and I took it for granted?? I'M SORRY” - Looking at regular water like it's a personal betrayal It's not juice. It's bottled childhood, distilled perfection, and probably the reason grapes were invented in the first place. Five stars isn't enough. I want to give it a vineyard and half my 401(k). Drink responsibly, or don't. I no longer fear death because I know heaven just tastes like this.