Let's begin this book by asking ourselves this very critical question: "Who gets married to say they want a divorce?" Let me answer that for you: NO ONE DOES. When someone loves you, they see something that's worth something in you. Even couples who go into a marriage with prenuptial agreements signed have only signed these prenups to protect themselves in the case of eventualities. They still hope for the very best in their marriages.
So Why Do Marriages Pack Up?
Why do marriages die? The answer to these questions is very easy. Marriage dies when both people stop trying.
I have seen many marriages fail because one or both of the partners failed to follow the Biblical injunction in John 15:12 which says, "My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you." We are no longer loving each other wholeheartedly and putting the needs of our partners ahead of ours. Today, there are three sides in a marriage, which are "the truth", "the husband's side" and "the wife's side". It need not be.
If you want to work on your marriage, this book is for you. You may have cheated on your partner emotionally or you may have been the one who was cheated on; as long as you are both willing to move past the past and build a new future together, this book is for you.
Or perhaps, none of you has cheated on the other (yet) but you feel a disconnect between you and want to salvage your marriage. If you are in this kind of situation, this book will also help you.
But before we go forward, ask yourself this question; "Do you want cakes or crumbs in your marriage?"
If you want the cake, you have to work on it because nothing good comes easy, and if you want something better than good, you have to put in extra effort. But it is doable, and the beauty of a marriage that has been worked on is brilliant.
In this book, I will charge you to understand that marriage is not the place to stand up for your rights. According to 1 Corinthians 7:3-4, "The marriage bed must be a place of mutuality--the husband seeking to satisfy his wife, the wife seeking to please the husband." Marriage is a decision to serve the other, whether in bed or in everyday life. If you get this single fact and get it right, you have won half the battle.
I hope to see you on the other end of this book with a stronger marriage. For those whose trust has already been broken, I pray you find the healing and the courage to work things through.
I am praying that you choose the cake, rather than the crumb.
And I hope and pray that you enjoy your very own version of happily ever after, starting today.
