Freshness Guaranteed Traditional Rotisserie Chicken, 36 oz (Chilled)

I'm not going to pretend I bought a chilled rotisserie chicken because I'm some kind of visionary. I bought it because it was two dollars cheaper than the hot one, and I was making white chicken enchiladas, not presenting a bird at a dinner party. The chicken doesn't care if it's hot when I'm about to rip it apart with my bare hands like a raccoon who found a coupon. And that's where the chilled rotisserie chicken shines. If you're shredding it into something else, this is the move. It's actually easier to work with cold. The meat pulls apart clean, you're not burning your fingers, and you save enough money to almost afford a single avocado. The enchiladas came out great. Nobody at any point asked me about the thermal history of the chicken, because nobody has ever done that and remained welcome in a kitchen. Is this chicken older than the hot one sitting under the heat lamp? Almost certainly. I assume this is the hot chicken's yesterday. Maybe the day before. I have decided not to look into it. I'm always willing to trade food safety for savings, and I didn't die, so the math checks out. That's what we in the risk assessment community call "a win." As a snack, straight out of the container, standing in front of the open refrigerator at 11 PM? Also phenomenal. You tell yourself you're just going to pull one piece off. Then another. Then you're standing there holding a carcass like some kind of feral king, and half the chicken is gone. The bones go in the trash, or into a stock pot if you're feeling ambitious, which you are not, because you just ate half a chicken over the sink. I would not bring this to a party. Not because it's bad, but because showing up with a cold whole chicken in a plastic clamshell tells people something about you that you can't walk back. Bring a dip. Put the shredded chicken in the dip. Now you're a contributor. Preparation is minimal. You open the container. That's it. That's the preparation. If you need it shredded, you shred it. If you need it sliced, you slice it. If you need it to just exist in your fridge as a protein safety net for the week, it does that too. It asks nothing of you. Finally, this review prompted me to rate "Meat" on a scale of 1 to 5 stars, and I'm giving it a 5, because I absolutely do not want to know what 1-star meat looks like. I don't want to see it. I don't want to be in the same zip code as it. Five stars for meat. Keep it that way. Please.