Making mistakes is part of human nature and I know personally how many I have made. Blaming the kid you once was is not a way to go forward for anyone, you weren't guided properly or you chose wrong people in your life to guide you through those years, but blaming anyone is nothing that you should be doing now. Recognise the mistakes that you made and learn from them. A lot of people say that we should learn from mistakes of others, but in reality you don't get burned by watching someone else put their hand in the fire, it only happens when you try it and feel the pain, only then you realise that you made a mistake. You have always two possibilities of how you are going to act, how you are going to live your life. It is hard, but you need to look deep into yourself, find yourself who you really are and then form yourself from the ground up.