Who Killed Simon Peters?

Deluded and selfish c-list celeb Simon Peters returns in a second sharp, funny, and on-the-button satire on celebrity.

 

Obituary: Simon Peters—TV presenter, 1973–2006)—the king is dead. A nation mourns, united in their grief. Not since the death of Diana has there been such a public outpouring of sorrow. Depression hangs thick in the air like a stale odor and the populace wears a mask of misery and melancholy. Simon Peters (33), game show host, TV personality, and multi-millionaire media tycoon died on New Year's Day in what police are describing as "suspicious circumstances." Wreckage from Peters' helicopter was found in the sea off the coast of Portugal, not far from his luxury villa in Vale del Lobo. Peters was said to have be been "resting" there following the launch of his latest TV series. Crash investigators say the control linkage to the tail rotor on his Robinson R22 helicopter "may have been tampered with." His body has yet to be recovered. 

After years of hamming it up, fluffing his lines, sleeping with the wrong people, and generally getting on the nerves of colleagues, friends (well, friend anyway), and fellow c-listers with his utterly misguided belief in his own mediocre talent, it seems the gods of stage and small screen surrendered and smiled upon him. Because he got himself a new agent, some would say stole an idea, and suddenly stardom of the multi-million-dollar mega kind beckoned. Now he's known to millions as the King of Saturday Night Television and certain of showbiz immortality thanks to the hugely popular aspirational game show It Could Be You!, a show he devised, hosted, and sang the theme tune on.The only problem is that he's trodden on so many hands and trampled on so many egos, in his bid the scramble up the greasy pole of fame that any number of resentful rivals might want to extinguish this bright and shining star . . . but which one?