Anger Management for Dummies

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Anger Management for Dummies

Format:  Paperback,

362 pages

Publisher: John Wiley & Sons Inc

Publish Date: Dec 2006

ISBN-13: 9780470037157

ISBN-10: 0470037156

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If your anger, or that of a loved one, is out of control and threatening your life and livelihood, you need the calm, clear, and understanding help you'll find in "Anger Management For Dummies." This concise and practical guidebook shares specific anger management methods, skills, and exercises that will help you identify the sources of your anger and release yourself from their grip. You'll find out how to: Defuse your anger before it strikesExpress your feelings calmlyRespond rather than reactPrevent anger incidents in the futureRelease healthy anger in a healthy wayConfess your anger in a journalUse anger constructivelyGet beyond old anger through forgiveness

Complete with coverage of road rage, air rage, office rage, and dealing with angry children, "Anger Management for Dummies" gives you the tools you need to overcome your anger and live a happier, more productive life.


Publisher: John Wiley & Sons Inc
Publish Date: Dec 2006
ISBN-13: 9780470037157
ISBN-10: 0470037156
Format: Paperback
Number of Pages: 362
Shipping Weight (in pounds): 1.25
Product in Inches (L x W x H): 9.25 x 7.5 x 1.0
Walmart No.: 470037156

Chapter outline

Introductionp. 1
About This Bookp. 1
Conventions Used in This Bookp. 3
What You're Not to Readp. 3
Foolish Assumptionsp. 4
How This Book Is Organizedp. 4
The Basics of Angerp. 4
Managing Your Anger Todayp. 5
Preventing Anger Tomorrowp. 5
Handling Anger from the Pastp. 5
Lifestyle Changes That Improve More Than Your Angerp. 6
Managing Anger in Key Relationshipsp. 6
The Part of Tensp. 6
Icons Used in This Bookp. 6
Where to Go from Herep. 7
The Basics of Angerp. 9
Anger: The Universal Emotionp. 11
Dispelling Common Anger Mythsp. 11
Understanding the Role of Emotions in Your Lifep. 13
Getting the Help You Needp. 14
You'll Know When You're Therep. 16
When Is Anger a Problem?p. 17
Evaluating How Angry You Arep. 18
How often do you get angry?p. 19
How intense is your anger?p. 20
Figuring Out Whether Your Anger Is Toxicp. 20
Episodic irritationp. 21
Episodic angerp. 22
Episodic ragep. 22
Chronic irritationp. 22
Chronic angerp. 22
Chronic ragep. 22
Calculating the Risks of Toxic Angerp. 23
Are you male?p. 23
Are you under 40 years of age?p. 23
Are you temperamental?p. 24
Do you have too many opportunities to get mad?p. 24
Are you looking at life the wrong way?p. 24
Do you have an aggressive personality?p. 25
Are you taking the wrong kinds of drugs?p. 26
Do you stay irritable?p. 26
Are you suffering from depression?p. 27
Do you communicate poorly?p. 27
Do you lack problem-solving skills?p. 28
Are you too stressed?p. 28
Are you too judgmental?p. 28
Are you too much into blame?p. 28
Are you constantly exhausted?p. 29
Do you have an inadequate support system?p. 29
Is your life seriously out of balance?p. 30
Is Anger Poisoning Your Life?p. 31
Robbing Your Energyp. 32
Making You Illp. 33
How anger indirectly affects your healthp. 33
How anger directly affects your healthp. 37
Reviewing the anger-health checklistp. 39
Sabotaging Your Careerp. 41
Getting off track earlyp. 42
Heading in the wrong directionp. 42
Asking the wrong questionp. 43
Engaging in counterproductive work behaviorp. 44
Ruining Your Marriagep. 45
Affecting the Health of Those You Care Aboutp. 46
Managing Your Anger Todayp. 49
Taking Immediate Actionp. 51
Drawing the Line - the Sooner the Betterp. 51
Settling for Just Being Annoyedp. 53
Understanding Why Your Fuse Is So Shortp. 54
Lengthening Your Fusep. 55
Walking away - but coming backp. 56
Letting the other person have the last wordp. 57
Sometimes It Pays to Feel Guiltyp. 58
Distraction Worksp. 58
Changing your situationp. 59
Stopping the ruminationp. 60
Using imagery to transcend angerp. 61
The Life Savers techniquep. 64
Speaking Out in Angerp. 65
Forget Ventingp. 66
Expressing Your Anger Effectivelyp. 67
Talking versus hittingp. 67
Writing versus speakingp. 69
Leaving out the four-letter wordsp. 70
Stay focusedp. 71
Keep it short - and breathep. 71
It's Not What You Say, It's How You Say Itp. 72
Keeping Your Coolp. 75
Choose to Respond Rather Than Reactp. 76
Breaking your lifelong habits of reacting to angerp. 77
Avoiding the company of other angerholicsp. 79
Assessing Your Angerp. 80
Be Patientp. 81
Take a Deep Breathp. 82
The relaxation responsep. 82
The power of quietp. 83
Lighten upp. 83
Inoculate yourselfp. 83
Ask Yourself Four Crucial Questionsp. 84
Who am I really angry at?p. 84
Is this where I want to be angry?p. 84
Why am I angry?p. 84
Is the intensity of my anger at this moment consistent with why I'm angry?p. 85
What Are My Options?p. 85
Always give yourself three ways to gop. 86
Consider the consequences of each responsep. 86
Don't always exercise your right to be angryp. 88
Go Ahead and Respondp. 88
Now Reward Yourselfp. 89
Preventing Anger Tomorrowp. 91
Adopting a New Perspectivep. 93
Anger Is in the Eye of the Beholderp. 94
Understanding why it's called "blind" ragep. 95
Choosing the lesser of two evilsp. 96
Accepting Life for What It Is, Not What It Should Bep. 97
Becoming More Tolerantp. 98
Seeking diversity in all thingsp. 99
Avoiding the media like the plaguep. 100
Figuring Out Where Hostility and Resentment Come Fromp. 102
When in Doubt, Be Assertivep. 104
Saying What You Feelp. 105
Why Hiding Your Emotions Isn't Healthyp. 105
No such thing as unexpressed angerp. 106
Dissatisfaction can be lethalp. 107
Being Civil Doesn't Always Mean Being Nicep. 108
Stop saying "I'm fine" when you're notp. 109
Stop apologizing for what others dop. 109
Express your anger without worrying that you're being a bitchp. 110
Stop Having Issues and Start Having Feelingsp. 110
Walking Away and Still Having Your Sayp. 112
Confessing Your Angerp. 115
Confession: It's Good for What Ails Youp. 116
Who Can Benefit from Confessingp. 117
Men in generalp. 117
African-American menp. 118
Women who cry a lotp. 118
People who are prone to guiltp. 118
People who are too empatheticp. 118
People who are hostilep. 119
People who lack charismap. 119
Introvertsp. 119
People who have suffered a lot of traumap. 119
People who are chronically illp. 120
Young peoplep. 120
Understanding the Difference between a Diary and a Journalp. 120
Telling Your Story Your Wayp. 121
Make yourself the audiencep. 121
Use the first personp. 122
Don't worry about grammarp. 122
Focus on the negativep. 123
Establish causal connectionsp. 124
Write until time is upp. 125
Don't let emotions get in the wayp. 125
Suspend judgmentp. 126
Stick to pen and pencilp. 127
Find a quite placep. 128
Becoming a Type Bp. 129
Moving Beyond Type Ap. 130
Focusing on who you are rather than what you dop. 130
Looking at your own competitive streakp. 134
Conversing without numbersp. 135
Taking off your watchp. 136
Resisting what society tells you to dop. 138
Acquiring Wisdomp. 139
Seeking diversity in relationshipsp. 139
Cultivating the artsp. 140
Letting curiosity reinp. 140
Finding the Right Environmental Fitp. 141
Using Anger Constructivelyp. 143
Making Anger Your Allyp. 143
Anger is a built-in resourcep. 145
Anger is invigoratingp. 145
Anger serves as a catalyst for new behaviorp. 146
Anger communicatesp. 146
Anger protects you from harmp. 147
Anger is an antidote to impotencep. 147
Exploring the Motives behind Your Angerp. 148
Seeking vengeancep. 149
Bringing about a positive changep. 149
Letting off steamp. 150
Using Anger to Understand Yourselfp. 150
Constructive Angerp. 151
Decide how you want to feel after you get angryp. 151
Acknowledge your angerp. 152
Focus your anger on the problem, not the personp. 153
Identify the source of the problemp. 153
Accept that the problem can be solvedp. 154
Try to see things from the other person's perspectivep. 155
Co-op the other partyp. 155
Keep a civil tone throughoutp. 156
Avoid disrespectful behaviorp. 156
Don't be afraid to take a timeout and resume the discussion laterp. 157
Make it a two-way conversationp. 157
Acknowledge that you've made progressp. 157
What Goes Around Comes Aroundp. 158
Handling Anger from the Pastp. 159
Why Is Letting Go So Difficult?p. 161
Digging Out from Angerp. 161
Resistance equals persistencep. 162
What are you afraid of?p. 163
Being nice doesn't mean being powerlessp. 164
Who hangs on and who lets go?p. 166
Trying the ten-minute rantp. 168
Living without Resolutionp. 169
Time's Up: When to Let Gop. 169
Forgivingp. 171
Forgiveness Is Never Easyp. 172
It takes timep. 173
It requires supportp. 173
It demands sacrificep. 174
Choosing to Forgivep. 174
You have to be safep. 174
You have to acknowledge the frailty of human naturep. 175
Doing a Cost-Benefit Analysisp. 176
Who are you letting off the hook?p. 176
Do you deserve to be happy?p. 177
Accepting the Finality of Being Wrongedp. 178
You don't have to forget the pastp. 178
Choose pain over angerp. 179
Lifestyle Changes That Improve More Than Your Angerp. 181
Managing Stressp. 183
Distinguishing Stress from Strainp. 184
Staying Away from Stress Carriersp. 185
Identifying the Sources of Your Stressp. 186
Knowing Which Types of Stress Are Toxicp. 188
Cumulative stressp. 189
Chronic stressp. 189
Catastrophic stressp. 190
Control stressp. 190
Avoiding Burnoutp. 191
Discovering How to Be Hardyp. 193
Be the master of your own destinyp. 194
Be a player, not a spectatorp. 195
Transform catastrophes into challengesp. 196
Coping with Stress: What Works and What Doesn'tp. 197
Managing Your Chemistryp. 199
Just Because It's Legal Doesn't Make It Healthyp. 199
How Much Is Too Much?p. 202
Keeping Track of Your Substance Usep. 204
Eliminating Your Favorite Cigarettep. 206
Counting Your Caffeinep. 207
Adopting a New Drinking Stylep. 207
Adding Balance to Your Lifep. 211
Counterbalancing Stressp. 211
Adding uplifts to your lifep. 212
Moving away from the extremesp. 214
Creating Healthy Pleasurep. 214
Go with the Flowp. 216
Maintaining Meaningful Social Tiesp. 218
Strive for quality not quantityp. 218
Support is a two-way streetp. 219
Support is only good if you accept itp. 219
Understanding Why Your Life Is Unbalancedp. 220
Agep. 220
Genderp. 220
Personalityp. 221
Time constraintp. 221
Overemphasis on independencep. 221
A reliance on unhealthy pleasurep. 221
Stressp. 222
Technologyp. 222
Affordabilityp. 222
Too much freedomp. 222
Lack of perspectivep. 223
Making Self a Priorityp. 223
Getting a Good Night's Sleepp. 227
Understanding What Sleep Does for Youp. 227
Knowing How Much Is Enoughp. 229
Rating the Quality of Your Sleepp. 230
Improving the Quality of Your Sleepp. 232
Listening to your bodyp. 232
Getting physicalp. 233
Avoiding stimulantsp. 234
Setting up a pre-sleep routinep. 236
Creating a positive sleep environmentp. 236
Considering sleeping pillsp. 239
Looking to a Higher Powerp. 241
Reaching Up rather than Outp. 241
Using Faith as a Weaponp. 242
Praying Prayers of Gratitudep. 244
Practicing Compassionp. 245
Being Humble - It Helpsp. 247
Having a Blessed Dayp. 248
Staying in a Good Moodp. 251
E-lim-inate the Negative: Maintaining a Positive Moodp. 252
Laughter: It really is the best medicinep. 252
Hanging around with optimistsp. 254
Finding the good in the badp. 255
Calculating your positivity ratiop. 256
When Your Mood Becomes a Problemp. 257
The Anger-Depression Linkp. 259
Fixing the Problemp. 261
Taking the "happy pill": Antidepressantsp. 261
The talking cure: Psychotherapyp. 263
Healing through exercisep. 264
Re-placement therapyp. 266
Managing Anger in Key Relationshipsp. 269
At Workp. 271
Recognizing Counterproductive Work Behaviorp. 272
Avoidance versus aggressionp. 274
Person versus organizationp. 274
Knowing Where to Lookp. 276
The disgruntled employeep. 276
The self-centered employeep. 278
Improving Your Negotiating Skillsp. 280
Creating a Positive Work Environmentp. 280
Making Civility the Normp. 283
Speaking Up, Not Outp. 285
At Homep. 287
It Takes Two to Tango: Avoiding Angry Dialoguesp. 288
Managing Anger from the Top Downp. 289
Choosing the Unfamiliar: Changing Your Family's Patternsp. 291
Looking at Your Parenting Stylep. 292
The Power of Onep. 296
One meal a dayp. 296
One evening a weekp. 297
One day a monthp. 298
One week a yearp. 298
In Intimate Relationshipsp. 301
The Loving-but-Angry Relationshipp. 302
Intimate partner violencep. 302
The angry marriagep. 303
Parent-child angerp. 305
Sibling angerp. 306
If You're the Angry Loved Onep. 306
You may become the person you fear and hatep. 306
Two wrongs never make a rightp. 307
Establishing healthy boundariesp. 308
If You're on the Receiving End of a Loved One's Angerp. 310
Eliminate the mental trapsp. 310
Stop being part of the problemp. 312
Inoculate yourselfp. 314
Refuse to play the role of the victimp. 315
The Part of Tensp. 317
Ten Ways to Raise a Non-Angry Childp. 319
Being an Emotional Coachp. 319
Starting Early and Talking Backp. 322
Creating Teachable Momentsp. 322
Being a Positive Role Modelp. 323
Putting the "I" in Emotionp. 325
Labeling Feelings Appropriatelyp. 325
Identifying Causesp. 326
Teaching Problem Solvingp. 327
Choosing the Third Alternativep. 328
Learning the Difference between Wanting and Gettingp. 329
Ten Ways to Combat Road Ragep. 331
Don't Rushp. 331
Loosen Your Gripp. 332
Focus on the Journey rather than the Destinationp. 333
Be the Other Driverp. 333
Take the "I" out of Driverp. 334
Look on the Bright Sidep. 334
Repeat after Me: They Are Not the Enemyp. 335
Stop Catastrophizingp. 336
Stop Being So Rationalp. 337
Settle for Just Being Irritatedp. 337
Ten Anger-Freeing Thoughtsp. 339
No One - Absolutely No One - Can Make You Angry without Your Consentp. 339
Anger Boomerangs - And So Does Lovep. 340
It's Only Moneyp. 340
Other People Are Not the Enemyp. 341
Life Isn't Fair - Not Even at the Topp. 341
Energy Is a Terrible Thing to Wastep. 342
Don't Kid Yourself: We're All Bozosp. 343
This Isn't the Hill You Want to Die Onp. 343
There's Nothing You Can Achieve in Anger That You Can't Achieve without Itp. 343
When You're Dealing with People, You're Not Entitled to a Damn Thing!p. 344
Indexp. 347

Book description

If your anger, or that of a loved one, is out of control and threatening your life and livelihood, you need the calm, clear, and understanding help you’ll find in Anger Management For Dummies. This concise and practical guidebook shares specific anger management methods, skills, and exercises that will help you identify the sources of your anger and release yourself from their grip. You’ll find out how to:

  • Defuse your anger before it strikes
  • Express your feelings calmly
  • Respond rather than react
  • Prevent anger incidents in the future
  • Release healthy anger in a healthy way
  • Confess your anger in a journal
  • Use anger constructively
  • Get beyond old anger through forgiveness

Complete with coverage of road rage, air rage, office rage, and dealing with angry children, Anger Management for Dummies gives you the tools you need to overcome your anger and live a happier, more productive life.

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