The Darwin Awards: Evolution in Action

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The Darwin Awards: Evolution in Action

Format:  Paperback,

327 pages

Edition: Completely REV.

Publisher: Penguin Group USA

Publish Date: May 2002

ISBN-13: 9780452283442

ISBN-10: 0452283442

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Book Information

The following content was provided by the publisher.
With over a quarter million copies in print and six months on The New York Times bestseller list, The Darwin Awards shows that readers crave humor. And what better place to find it than in the stories of those human beings who improve the gene pool by removing themselves from it in a sublimely idiotic fashion.
Marvel at the thief who tries to steal live electrical wires. Gape at the lawnchair jockey who floats to a height of 16,000 feet suspended by helium balloons. And learn from the man who peers into a gasoline can using a cigarette lighter. All contend for Darwin Awards when their choices culminate in magnificent misadventures.
These tales of trial and awe-inspiring error-verified by the author and endorsed by website readers-illustrate the ongoing saga of survival of the fittest in all its selective glory. The Darwin Awards vividly portrays the finest examples of evolution in action, and shows us just how uncommon common sense can be.

Specifications

Publisher: Penguin Group USA
Publish Date: May 2002
ISBN-13: 9780452283442
ISBN-10: 0452283442
Format: Paperback
Number of Pages: 327
Shipping Weight (in pounds): 0.6
Product in Inches (L x W x H): 5.25 x 7.25 x 0.75

Chapter outline

The Darwin Awards: What are they?p. 1
Survival of the Fittestp. 1
Rules and Eligibilityp. 2
Charles Darwin's Theory of Evolutionp. 7
Uncommon Common Sensep. 11
History and Internet Culturep. 13
Advice on Reading the Storiesp. 15
Natural Selection: Animal Misadventuresp. 17
Can Animals Win Darwin Awards?p. 17
Darwin Award: In a Pig's Eyep. 21
Darwin Award: Killer Whale Rodeop. 23
Darwin Award: Playing with Catsp. 26
Darwin Award: Hungry Python Kills Ownerp. 27
Darwin Award: Poisonous Petsp. 29
Darwin Award: Snake Charmer?p. 30
Darwin Award: Burmese Pythonp. 32
Darwin Award: What's New, Pussycat?p. 33
Darwin Award: Wild Animal Lessonp. 34
Darwin Award: Smarter Animalsp. 36
Darwin Award: Running of the Bullsp. 37
Darwin Award: Silenced by the Lambsp. 38
Darwin Award: Human Hitching Postp. 39
Honorable Mention: Nine Times a Loserp. 41
Honorable Mention: Revenge of the Gopherp. 42
Honorable Mention: Woman Disarmed by Tigerp. 43
Honorable Mention: Don't Mess with Mama Bearp. 45
Urban Legend: Man Glued to Rhino Buttocksp. 46
Personal Account: Bug Repellentp. 48
Personal Account: Why Kids Leave the Farmp. 50
Relatively Dangerous: A Family Affairp. 51
Children and Evolutionp. 51
Darwin Award: Go, Speed Racer, Gop. 54
Darwin Award: Wife Tossing in Buenos Airesp. 56
Darwin Award: Count Your Chickensp. 57
Darwin Award: Father Knows Bestp. 58
Darwin Award: Laughing Gasp. 60
Darwin Award: Murderous Affairp. 61
Darwin Award: Avoiding a Fightp. 63
Darwin Award: Maine Chainsaw Romancep. 64
Honorable Mention: Trash Compactorp. 66
Honorable Mention: Darwin Your Bratty Kidsp. 67
Urban Legend: Missionary Miscalculationp. 68
Personal Account: Accidental Safe Sexp. 69
Personal Account: Wives with Chloroformp. 70
I Fought the Law ...": Stupid Criminal Tricksp. 71
If Evolution Works, Why So Many Idiots?p. 71
Darwin Award: Junk Food Junkiep. 74
Darwin Award: Copper Caperp. 75
Darwin Award: Good Trumps Evil at Churchp. 76
Darwin Award: Jumping Jack Cashp. 77
Darwin Award: Tired of It Allp. 78
Darwin Award: Modus Operandi Misfiresp. 79
Darwin Award: Restaurant Thiefp. 80
Darwin Award: Dum Dum Boutiquep. 81
Darwin Award: Scrap Metal Thievesp. 82
Darwin Award: Wrong Time, Wrong Placep. 83
Darwin Award: Clumsy Canadian Burglarp. 84
Darwin Award: Escaping Convictionp. 85
Darwin Award: Rob Your Neighborp. 86
Honorable Mention: Pick Your Targetp. 88
Honorable Mention: Armed and Dangerous?p. 89
Honorable Mention: Poor Sense of Directionp. 90
Honorable Mention: Airbag Weaponsp. 91
Honorable Mention: Mis-Steakp. 92
Honorable Mention: Wile E. Coyote of Burglarsp. 93
Honorable Mention: Limo and Latte Burglarp. 94
Honorable Mention: Spare Some Change?p. 95
Honorable Mention: Three Times a Loserp. 96
Honorable Mention: Sunny Side Upp. 97
Honorable Mention: Official Drug Testp. 98
Honorable Mention: Klutzy Crookp. 99
Personal Account: Compacted Ignorancep. 100
Personal Account: Gangster Bluesp. 102
Up in Smoke: Fire and Explosionsp. 103
Awards for Priests and Gays?p. 103
Darwin Award: Living on Zionist Timep. 106
Darwin Award: Firefighters Ignite!p. 107
Darwin Award: Igniting Fireworks the Easy Wayp. 108
Darwin Award: Justice Is Servedp. 109
Darwin Award: No Smoking? Ha!p. 110
Darwin Award: Dynamite and Boats Don't Mixp. 112
Darwin Award: Up in Smokep. 113
Darwin Award: Cigarette Lighter Triggers Fatal Explosionp. 115
Darwin Award: Lights Outp. 116
Honorable Mention: Chimney Safetyp. 118
Honorable Mention: I Just Flicked My Bic!p. 119
Urban Legend: Scuba Divers and Forest Firesp. 120
Urban Legend: Cow Bombp. 122
Urban Legend: Raccoon Rocketp. 123
Urban Legend: Hydrogen Beer Disasterp. 125
Urban Legend: Cell Phone Destroys Gas Stationp. 128
Personal Account: Elemental Mistakep. 129
Personal Account: Is It Loaded?p. 130
Personal Account: Final Flick of Bicp. 131
Leaps of Faith: Fatal Fallsp. 133
John F. Kennedy Jr.p. 133
Darwin Award: Don't Drink and Flyp. 138
Darwin Award: Lawyer Aloftp. 140
Darwin Award: Stoned Sleepp. 141
Darwin Award: Homegrown Parachutep. 142
Darwin Award: Yosemite Parachute Safetyp. 145
Darwin Award: Shocking Fallp. 147
Darwin Award: Bungee Jumperp. 148
Darwin Award: Bridge Bonzaip. 149
Darwin Award: One for the Birdsp. 150
Personal Account: Leap of Faithp. 151
Personal Account: One, Two, Three, Heave!p. 153
Urban Legend: Misadventure at the Metallica Concertp. 155
Urban Legend: Power Plant Fitness Freakp. 158
Personal Account: Leveledp. 160
Military Intelligence: Uninformed Menp. 161
Historical Darwin Awardsp. 161
Darwin Award: Intelligence Blundersp. 164
Darwin Award: Hanging Around Jailp. 165
Darwin Award: Peeper Plummetsp. 166
Darwin Award: Dead Spitterp. 167
Darwin Award: New Dating Techniquep. 168
Darwin Award: Resistance Is Futilep. 169
Darwin Award: Wait for Me!p. 170
Personal Account: Industrious Brain-Dead Privatep. 172
Personal Account: 5 Soldiers, 6 Police, 0 Brainsp. 174
Personal Account: Jet Ski Jockp. 176
Personal Account: North Pacific Deckpeckerp. 178
Personal Account: Flack Vest Testingp. 180
Testosterone Poisoning: Macho Menp. 181
The Issue of Offspringp. 181
Darwin Award: JATOp. 184
Darwin Award: Fatal Footsiep. 186
Darwin Award: Guy Gulps Goldfishp. 187
Darwin Award: Dry Spellp. 188
Darwin Award: Sequined Pastiep. 191
Darwin Award: Gun Safety Trainingp. 192
Darwin Award: The Winner Gets ... A Postmortemp. 193
Darwin Award: I'm a Man, I Can Handle Itp. 195
Darwin Award: William Tell Overturep. 196
Darwin Award: Sink the Cue Ballp. 197
Darwin Award: Repairs on the Roadp. 199
Honorable Mention: Right Tool for the Right Jobp. 200
Honorable Mention: Kiss Bites Backp. 201
Urban Legend: The Dog and the Jeepp. 203
Personal Account: One Cool Dudep. 206
Personal Account: Out of Their Headsp. 209
Personal Account: Round Lake Shortcutp. 210
Darwin Award: Chute Boyp. 212
Dangerous Liaisons: Unsafe Sexp. 213
Evolutionary Hall of Shamep. 213
Darwin Award: Love Crushed Sexp. 215
Darwin Award: Baby, You Drive Me Crazyp. 216
Darwin Award: Sex and Suffocationp. 217
Darwin Award: Fatal Flasherp. 218
Honorable Mention: Chimney Mannersp. 219
Honorable Mention: Betrayal of Trussedp. 220
Urban Legend: Lightning Datep. 222
Urban Legend: Gerbil Rocketp. 224
Urban Legend: Hedonist Air Pumpersp. 225
Urban Legend: Romeo and Juliet?p. 227
Davey Jones' Locker: Watery Demisep. 229
Divergent Evolutionp. 229
Darwin Award: Hurricane Hangoverp. 232
Darwin Award: Gone Fishin'p. 233
Darwin Award: Polar Bear Swimp. 234
Darwin Award: Crappy Driving Awardp. 236
Darwin Award: Can Duck Shooters Swim?p. 237
Darwin Award: Yosemite Hikep. 239
Darwin Award: Wet Will Hep. 240
Darwin Award: Hard Work Rewardsp. 241
Honorable Mention: Loch Ness Monsterp. 242
Urban Legend: Darwin Beach Deathp. 243
Personal Account: Quarry Storyp. 245
Personal Account: The Iceman Exitethp. 248
Personal Account: Rub Dub Dub, Men in a Tubp. 249
Personal Account: Surprise Flushp. 250
Personal Account: Tide-ally Impairedp. 252
Man's Favorite Toy: Penis Envyp. 253
Losing the Family Jewelsp. 253
Honorable Mention: Zany New Zealand Contestp. 256
Honorable Mention: Mr. Happy's Vacuump. 258
Darwin Award: Priapism Takes a Penisp. 260
Darwin Award: Man Slices Off Penisp. 262
Darwin Award: Love from the Heartp. 264
Honorable Mention: Scoutmaster Snarep. 265
Honorable Mention: Scrotum Self-Repairp. 266
Honorable Mention: Horse Drug Experimentp. 268
Urban Legend: Frog Giggin' Accident in Arkansasp. 269
Personal Account: Jump Rope Bluesp. 271
Personal Account: Disco Dorkp. 273
Personal Account: Bridge Bowlingp. 274
Personal Account: Pissing into the Windp. 276
Foolish Ingenuity: End of the Linep. 277
Evolution in Actionp. 277
Honorable Mention: Lawnchair Larryp. 280
Darwin Award: The Last Supperp. 283
Darwin Award: Ultimate Price for Smelling Nicep. 285
Darwin Award: Midnight Specialp. 287
Darwin Award: Deadly Reading Habitsp. 288
Darwin Award: Breatharianismp. 289
Darwin Award: Roller Coasterp. 291
Darwin Award: Mental Eclipsep. 292
Darwin Award: No Bike Lane at the Airportp. 293
Darwin Award: The Bumbershootp. 294
Darwin Award: Lemmings in a Wellp. 295
Darwin Award: Hair Today, Gone Tomorrowp. 296
Darwin Award: Death of Draculap. 298
Darwin Award: The Daily Grindp. 299
Urban Legend: Christmas Roastp. 300
Urban Legend: The Laundry Was Clean ...p. 301
Urban Legend: Unfortunate Husbandp. 303
Urban Legend: Overkillp. 306
Personal Account: Team Spiritp. 307
Personal Account: Cleaning the Headp. 308
Appendicesp. 309
Website Biographyp. 309
Darwin Haikup. 311
Author Biographyp. 312
Story Indexp. 313

Book description

With over a quarter million copies in print and six months on The New York Times bestseller list, The Darwin Awards shows that readers crave humor. And what better place to find it than in the stories of those human beings who improve the gene pool by removing themselves from it in a sublimely idiotic fashion.

Marvel at the thief who tries to steal live electrical wires. Gape at the lawnchair jockey who floats to a height of 16,000 feet suspended by helium balloons. And learn from the man who peers into a gasoline can using a cigarette lighter. All contend for Darwin Awards when their choices culminate in magnificent misadventures.

These tales of trial and awe-inspiring error-verified by the author and endorsed by website readers-illustrate the ongoing saga of survival of the fittest in all its selective glory. The Darwin Awards vividly portrays the finest examples of evolution in action, and shows us just how uncommon common sense can be.

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