How to Survive a Garden Gnome Attack: Defend Yourself When the Lawn Warriors Strike (and They Will)

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How to Survive a Garden Gnome Attack: Defend Yourself When the Lawn Warriors Strike (and They Will)

Format:  Hardcover,

106 pages

Publisher: Random House Inc

Publish Date: Sep 2010

ISBN-13: 9781580084635

ISBN-10: 158008463X

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Book Information

The following content was provided by the publisher.
Move over zombies and adolescent vampires.
There's a new threat in town--and it's only twelve inches tall. "How to Survive a Garden Gnome Attack "is the only comprehensive survival guide that will help you prevent, prepare for, and ward off an imminent home invasion by the common garden gnome. Once thought of as harmless yard decorations, evidence is mounting that these smiling lawn statues are poised and ready to wreck havoc. The danger is real. And it's here.
Class 1 gnome-slayer and gnome defense expert Chuck Sambuchino has developed a proven system--Assess, Protect, Defend, Apply--for safeguarding property, possessions, and loved ones. Strategies include step-by-step instructions for gnome-proofing the average dwelling, recognizing and interpreting the signs of a gathering hoard, and--in the event that a secured perimeter "is" breached--confronting and combating the attackers at close range.

Specifications

:
Publisher: Random House Inc
Publish Date: Sep 2010
ISBN-13: 9781580084635
ISBN-10: 158008463X
Format: Hardcover
Number of Pages: 106
Shipping Weight (in pounds): 0.68
Product in Inches (L x W x H): 5.25 x 8.5 x 0.5
Walmart No.: 9781580084635

Chapter outline

Introduction
Assess
Are You at Risk?
Suspicious Activity
Recognizing Communication
Protect
Passive Fortification-Area Denial
Gnomeproofing Your Exterior-Access Denial
Gnomeproofing Your Interior-Internal Defense
Defend
Ten Tips That Could Save Your Life
Their Arsenal
Your Arsenal
Apply
Mortal Combat
Gnome Roam No More
Acknowledgments

Book description

Move over zombies and adolescent vampires.

There’s a new threat in town—and it’s only twelve inches tall. How to Survive a Garden Gnome Attack is the only comprehensive survival guide that will help you prevent, prepare for, and ward off an imminent home invasion by the common garden gnome. Once thought of as harmless yard decorations, evidence is mounting that these smiling lawn statues are poised and ready to wreck havoc. The danger is real. And it’s here.

Class 1 gnome-slayer and gnome defense expert Chuck Sambuchino has developed a proven system—Assess, Protect, Defend, Apply—for safeguarding property, possessions, and loved ones. Strategies include step-by-step instructions for gnome-proofing the average dwelling, recognizing and interpreting the signs of a gathering hoard, and—in the event that a secured perimeter is breached—confronting and combating the attackers at close range.

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